10 ways to stick it to The Man

31Oct06

Disclaimer: The following is a result of waiting too long for something productive (regarding my posting) to happen. The author is not responsible for wasted time or moronic acts inspired by the following rant.

 

Over the years, we have had numerous men/women who have fought the system single-handedly without compromising on a single one of their ideals. Sadly , the number of such people has dwindled and with the exception of Lester Burnham (1999) and Tyler Durden (1999), we haven’t had many anti establishment heroes to look up to in the recent past. We haven’t had people who can show us the way to true renunciation of materialism and freedom from this s****y consumerist society. We have become…(drumroll)…chicken s**t.  Below are a few methods in which you (yes, YOU) can stick it up to The Man without taking the blame, losing your job or selling your children.

 

10 ways to stick it to The Man without giving yourself away:

 

  1. Do not wear your ID card before/after office hours (9-5) especially while outside the office. You unwittingly promote the brand name of The Man. They spend enough on advertising; you don’t need to help them out. Similarly, do not wear shirts/caps/badges/bags/bands that endorse The Man in any way.
  2. Drink as much coffee/tea/milk from work as possible. They cost at least 5 rupees outside. In this small but significant way, you can make a dent in The Man’s coffers.
  3. Make funny faces at your colleagues when they’re not looking.
  4. Use all your paid leaves and sick leaves. Also paternity/maternity leaves.
  5. Spread vicious (non traceable to you) rumors about colleagues who suck up to The Man.
  6. If The Man blocks your internet access, do not fret. God gave you smart friends for a reason.
  7. Make Voodoo dolls of people you hate at work and stick needles into them. Dart boards with your colleagues’ photos are a cliché but a good idea nonetheless.
  8. In case your company provides perks if you get married to a colleague, get married as soon as possible and file for divorce sooner (and split the booty of course).
  9. Spread rumors about The Man to competitors and unwittingly trigger a stock market crash.
  10. Get a life.

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8 Responses to “10 ways to stick it to The Man”

  1. dude…u inspire me….SALUTE!!

  2. wow… u scaring me…. wat do they do to u dude?? I thought u were this big kid incapable of living in this world that u find refuge in film world.. But wow.. u need help!! But atleast v al got an xplanation for ur love for coffee… :p

  3. @triquetra thanx machi…im no where near to you though! 🙂

    @all4love: Ah…this is wjat happens when you have way too much time! 🙂

  4. @all4love: The java craze has _nothing_ to do with this. It helps, but Java = Gooooooood!! ;-)!

  5. 5 soorajrox

    hehe…remember…”teddy K”..clap clap…(ok…i laughed)
    n regarding #’s 2,3,5,7…yea man i agree
    #8 hmmmm 😉
    #10 seriously

  6. @Guru Drinking coffee isn’t a sign of diffidence to the man…Java is God! Sort of…

    @Sooraj ‘TEDDY K’ hahaha…funny stuff!
    This is what happens when they don’t allot me onto a project man!

  7. btw forgot to tell u..u reminded me of jack black…school of rock…”stick-it-to-the-man-niosis” hehe…whoz the man huh!! whoz the man!!!…alla i don’t know…who is the man!!

  8. @triquetra Yea…hehe…Bentley said the same thing too ydy!


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