Love, Puppy Dogs and Sunshine

11Feb07

Disclaimer: I implore ‘people in love’ to not take the following rant personally. I mean you no harm. Please take it as coming from a guy who has a case of the ‘sour grapes’. 🙂

I thought I’d never write about stuff like this but now that the season’s here, I can’t seem to help myself. People who know me would tell you that I’m a cynic of epic proportions who loves trivialising thngs like love, puppy dogs and sunshine. What they wouldn’t tell you is that I like nay, love Notting Hill and sometimes I get goosepimples watching the crappiest of romantic comedies. All that aside, I somehow feel I need to write on what I think ‘love’ is or why I feel it is way too overrated.

Now, being all of 22 1/2 years old, I can’t really tell you I’m an expert on the subject but I still have reason to believe that the whole idea of ‘love’ has been blown out of proportion. Anybody my age would be able to agree (if not admit) that they have fancied a number of people growing up and so the entire idea of a ‘soul mate‘ is absurd if not total bullcrap! Besides ‘love’ always has a number of highly noticeable stages or phases:

  1. You start talking and realise that he/she is really smart and that you have a lot in common. Who you kidding!? 
  2. Undeniable attraction
  3. Uncontrollable attraction
  4. Telling each other how he/she changed your perspective on life using phrases like ‘You make me feel like it’s OK to be me’, ‘You complete me’, ‘You’ve changed my life’, ‘You bring meaning’ and other such cheesy lines.
  5. Promises of ‘forever’. Statements like ‘I want to grow old with you’, ‘I want to die before you do’ and of course the ever popular ‘I promise to love you forever’ get thrown around pretty often.
  6. More promises. ‘I love you’, ‘No, I love you more’ , ‘No I love you even more’ etc…
  7. You don’t see each other for a minute and say ‘I miss you’ ten times.
  8. Then, you slowly start to calm down. The initial outburst wears off. You become comfortable being with him/her.
  9. You realise you have nothing new to talk about and so, start talking about other people. There are times these talks are a wee bit judgemental. Amazing that people in love spend so much of their time talking about others.
  10. Conversations die down and you start saying that you guys are so comfortable wth each other and that now, even ‘the silences are comfortable’. Priceless!
  11. You slowly start getting a little peeved when he/she wants to know everything about you. You wish you had a little more space.
  12. You know each other too well and there are no more surprises. Things feel far too predictable.
  13. You have small arguments and sometimes big fights.
  14. You break up or get married.
  15. Repeat.

Sometimes I really think Love is really just  Lust disguised. A plot invented by nature so that our gene pool is preserved. An ingenuine method to make sure that a species does not wipe itself off the planet. Maybe it’s just a way of feeding our insecurities, making us feel we are better people than we really are.

Well, I kind of see love as, uh, this escape for two people who don’t know how to be alone, you know? Or, I mean, you know, it’s funny. People always talk about how love is totally unselfish, giving thing, but if you think about it, there’s nothing more selfish.

                                                          Before Sunrise

Maybe that’s all it is. Maybe not.

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16 Responses to “Love, Puppy Dogs and Sunshine”

  1. 1 bApHoMEt

    I totally agree with the fact that Love is Lust disguised. We look upon our pointless existences and try to elevate ourselves from animals with ‘God’ and ‘Love’. Animals fear nature as much as we do, but we refined Rain, Thunder, Sun, Moon…and made it God. Animals copulate just like we do, but we refined it and called it love.

    In an ideal world where everyone gets to f#@k everyone, the concept of love will vanish.

    p.s. read Atomised by Michel Houellebecq.

  2. 2 bApHoMEt

    …The confession about Notting Hill was a very brave move. That kinda puts you and me pretty much on the same boat when it comes to romantic flicks. I have a thing for Serendipity (or maybe it’s just Kate Beckinsale).

  3. P.S. and bApHoMEt, do I see something blooming between u guys?

    Btw, does this make the Guy Love to Guy Lust?? :D!!

  4. @PS
    aha i c valentine’s day has its very own special effect on you.

    The thing i hate about love is: we,the select few, who know the truth about what happens after ppl fall in love, still cannot control it. As in, we also will fall into that same 15 step routine.

    I dont even like picking up the newspaper nowadays. Too many hearts floating around the articles. Its scary..

  5. I thank thee daedalus for pointing that out!! I wanted to, but didn’t have the heart to cause any further worries to our dearest PS here.

  6. 6 soorajrox

    Statements like ‘I want to grow old with you’, ‘I want to die before you do’ and of course the ever popular ‘I promise to love you forever’ get thrown around pretty often.

    i dunno man….but this I want to to grow old with you…………..seems so damn funny…lol

  7. @baphomet Interesting you said that. In Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, everybody essentially is free and nobody belongs to anybody. Monogamy is a crime and the concept of love doesn’t exist. However the book goes on to show that man isn’t content that way…man needs somebody to call his own. I guess ‘love’ or whatever is inevitable.

    The link for atomised leads to Almodvar. 🙂

    In reference to Serendipity; it’s bad enough to believe in love. It’s worse to believe in fate and destiny. 🙂 Notting Hill always manges to lift my spirits…maybe deep down every guy is a girl!!!

    @daedalus Yea yea I know…no matter what we say or do…we are vulnerable to this crap!

    @Guru C’mon man…I can handle whatever you say…bring it on biaaatch!! 🙂

    @Sooraj Funny? You bet your @$$ it is!!!

  8. … love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love.

  9. It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity… – Merovingian in “The Matrix Revolutions”

  10. @ Guru Panguji
    Btw, does this make the Guy Love to Guy Lust?? :D!!

    Though I don’t really agree with you guys, but this was an amazing deduction/insight/research/….whatever.
    I am delighted. hehehe

  11. @ne0 Man! You have to stop talking like that…:-)

    @Bips No research was required…just look around carefully and you will see…

  12. 12 baPhoMeT

    @PS: sorry about the bad link. too late to remedy that.

    @guru: PS and i have nothing blooming between us. do i sense a pang of jealousy there?

    speaking about jealousy: it is a major component of a relationship. doesn’t it actually explain the phrase that PS used from Before Sunrise- “People always talk about how love is totally unselfish, giving thing, but if you think about it, there’s nothing more selfish.”

  13. 13 TKM

    Disagree completely in the inference you made; “Love is really just Lust disguised”… For one, the process you described happens only to people attracted to each other immediately…

    More importantly, “lust disguised” is really the passion that envelops you when you are infatuated with someone. “Passion” NOT “Love”. This infatuation is very often mistaken for love… It is after the passion declines that one realises whether they are in love or not…

  14. @TKM Dude…fall in love, get married and 15 years down the line, tell me you LOVE your partner with the same PASSION kay?? Everything fades man…if you like it or not…if you accept it or not…

  15. 15 TKM

    Exactly my point… You are NOT distinguishing love & passion… I agree completely that passion declines over time… But that’s sidestepping the argument… Let’s make the distinction clear… When a person is infatuated, the passion can be likened to the contours of a silhouette, shadowing the true feelings of that person (incl. love or the lack thereof)… The substance or true feeling is not clearly visible, but it is embedded below…

    Again, why bring marriage into the argument… Love is independent of marriage… There are various reasons why love falls apart, which may or may not be connected to marriage… This, i will save for a later post…

    Also, pls lets not stifle argumentative reasoning by making (futuristic) statements, which are 1. Purely experiential in nature & 2. Brings down the intellectual level of the argument to Near Zero level… I am stressing this because you have been rational in a majority of your posts…

  16. @TKM Ok…somehow I get the feeling that we are aquainted.

    Anyhoo, here goes. Love IMO is just a name given to a bundle of feelings. But mostly, I think the word love was coined to explain the unnatural (unnatural because i believe evolution decides most facets of life) tendency of a man/woman to claim ownership over somebody/something.

    We both agree that passion declines over time right? So love must be something else then. Maybe it’s something that makes people feel better about themselves, an insecurity feeder of sorts.

    Then again, parental love is difficult to explain that way. But think about it, NOT ALL parents love their kids and even the wildest of animals show love to their young. So ‘love’ makes sure our species survives and evolves further. It’s just that we humans have given it a fancy name and an overglorified meaning…


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