“Quaffable, but far from transcendent”



A couple of nights back, after watching Sideways for the millionth time, I decided to buy a bottle of wine. My knowledge of alcoholic beverages is the bare minimum but I must say I’d always considered wines to be marginally more elegant than gin, whiskey, beer and the likes and hence had once made an attempt at becoming a wine connoisseur of sorts. That didn’t go too well.

Anyhow, I picked up a bottle from the nearest liquor store (which incidentally is next door). Barely glancing at the label, I paid for it. Upon reaching the apartment, I took out a wine glass (yes, I have a couple) and proceeded to get on with the necessary formalities i.e color, swirl, smell, taste, and savour. As the strong, sweet and pungent liquid passed through my esophagus, I felt a slight sensation of giddiness. Once the giddiness passed, I ditched the glass and took a couple of swigs straight from the bottle. A few more gulps, and the bottle was near empty. My head felt a lot lighter and it dawned on me that I may have been a bit…drunk. To savor the moment, I fumbled on my computer to find the appropriate music that would compliment, nay accentuate the feeling. Muse.

I closed my eyes to take it all in when I was suddenly hit by a terrible epiphany. There I was…getting drunk…for no reason…alone. I had always associated drinking alone with depression. I’d always hated people who did that. Was I no better? As I plunged down that melancholic spiral of self loathing and shame, I couldn’t help but feel like crap (for want of a better word).

I tried redirecting the hatred onto something more worthwhile. Memories of an age old rivalry came to mind. I’d never spoken my mind to him; he’d gotten away with the last word. What better time to enervate than when under the influence. Should I call him up or should I write? An email would be more articulate but would it accurately convey the contempt? Would the tone be grave enough?

As I pondered on ways to emotionally decapitate the vermin, I glanced at the wine label.

Ariel Blanc

Premium Dealcoholized Wine

Contains less than one half of one percent alcohol by volume


12 Responses to ““Quaffable, but far from transcendent””

  1. lol, you poor thing! 🙂

    If its any comfort, I think our minds and the whole prep around an event is more heady than the act itself. I mean, look at magicians 🙂

  2. ROFLMAO! This post had me grinning because last night, we had the Halloween weekend in the pubs Downtown. So, we were walking on the streets trying to remain warm and gain an entry into ANY damn pub. Too crowded and we had no luck. There were many others just roaming around the streets. Finally, we ended up going to a Beer & Wine shop (which wasn’t next door, but quite near), bought some beer, got drunk till 5 am and then slept off. The best part of the night was this fight between two drunken neighbors in the parking lot. One guy hit the other one with a beer bottle. The guy who got hit was on parole; so nobody called 911. One of my friends was a doctor and he bandaged this guy up. The guy who was hit couldn’t believe that my friend was a doctor because he was all dressed for Halloween’s with a painted face. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m writing this stuff here. There were more shocking things that took place, but I’ll spare you the details.

    Contains less than one half of one percent alcohol by volume

    Awesome! Try getting drunk on Bacardi Breezer the next time 😛

  3. 3 bApHoMEt

    what a wasted opportunity bro. you must make up for it. i want you to go next door and get a nice bottle of vodka and drink a minimum of three solid pegs. maybe you can write that e-mail. better yet, call him. give it to his face.

    getting drunk is like confession. you clean the slate. if you have even one thing nagging you when you are drunk, you must pursue a way to terminate it with brute force. after that, the next day, you will have bliss (and a hangover).

  4. @rads Placebo…the first time for me. But I liked the feeling. Anti climactic but still good. 🙂

    @ruhi I’ve had lots of Breezers back in India and was always sober. Maybe it’s the whole being home alone on a Friday and the shortage of films that finally got to me.

    I actually did go to a Halloween Barbecue but stayed away from the beers! 🙂

    @baph Um….I stay away from conflicts. Not that I’m chicken but I think passive is a more appropriate word.

    Come to think about it…I’ve been drunk only once and I really didn’t enjoy the feeling all that much.

  5. @presti, Exactly! Breezer is not even alcohol, IMO 🙂

  6. 6 fibinse

    To know if you are drunk,discreetly ….take a ruler and draw a straight line…Somebody wil know d difference!

  7. 7 Swen

  8. @PS: This is why you should never drink alone 🙂

  9. 9 robinjives

    Dude.. am proud of you.. high on less than 1% of alcohol… so its time to upgrade, a couple of cocktails shud do the trick 🙂

  10. I couldn’t help but feel like crap (for want of a better word).

    Junk? Garbage? trash? scrap? debris? detritus? 😐
    I like detritus btw. Somehow it sounds close prestidigitator.

  11. 11 noconvolutions

    haha…m laughing my lungs out…gosh the other day u finished ur glass of wine,had mine too n u were far better off than me in ur senses n this time u got high on 1% alcohol hahaha jackass!!!
    now i wonder what conc of alcohol was present in that fujiora [if i remember it correctly] wine that we had.well m taking my bros to the same place tonight n m going to tell all lies about u [that u got drunk real bad n i had to call ur frns and they had to take u home 🙂 ]

  12. @noconvolutions Well…in the presence of a lady, I make an extra effort to stay sober! 🙂

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