Happy Hours


You spend enough time with people and you realize that it’s always tempting to reduce them to cultural stereotypes; the proverbial clown car so to speak.ย  It would have been depressing if it weren’t so much fun.

So yes, I spend happy hours after work with this rather colorful group – a group I’ve grown particularly fond of over the past few months; the Indian couple who after 3 years of marriage still seem to be all over each other, the proselytizing right wing American who cannot stop blathering about the USPs of being ‘born again’, the pretty Chinese girl who for some strange reason finds it imperative that she photograph every waking moment of her life, the computer whiz who downs more energy drinks than anyone else I know and the jolly chain smoking (militant) atheist who would have made a brilliant Santa Claus if he weren’t, well, such an avowed atheist. (Note how I consider myself above all generalizations.)

A couple of nights back, during one of our inebriated sessions, religion comes up. Pretty Chinese girl starts raving about how Buddhism is the one religion/philosophy that in the last 2500 years hasn’t instigated a single conflict. Not to be outdone, Santa Claus reiterates how secularists have done more good for humanity than followers of all religions combined. Mr Yankee, piss drunk and understandably offended starts mouthing verses from the bible much to the consternation of Young Married Couple.

Things take a turn for the worse when insults are exchanged between Santa Claus and Mr Yankee (“Let’s see you turn the other cheek when I…”). Emotions flare and I try my best to break the tension with lame attempts at humor. For a moment they seem to work and Yankee calms down visibly.

“You bastards can say whatever you want but Jesus saves.”

An awkward pause follows and then Computer Whiz, “Well then he should bloody well invest in real estate, shouldn’t he?”


14 Responses to “Happy Hours”

  1. ROFL. Dude, Santa Clause sounds like an older version of me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. 2 ramblingperfectionist

    ๐Ÿ˜€ Funniest thing I’ve heard all week!

    PS: Why, exactly, do Santa Claus and Mr Yankee hang out together,again? I know religiosity isn’t necessarily a huge dividing plank: I usually hang out with 4 other guys, and one of my friends is obsessively religious but sensitive to the fact that I’m not at all religious, one is officially a christian but not very into it, the other is officially nothing at all but thinks himself spiritual but not superstitious, and the last is a Hindu guy who keeps telling how hindu scriptures are pretty much open to interpretation any way you like (which, we all agree, is true). If I were indeed militant, or if my friend kept crying “Repent!”, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t get along quite so well.

    PS2: Topics up for Science Fiction Writing in Shaastra 08!!! link

  3. โ€œYou bastards can say whatever you want but Jesus saves.โ€

    That’s… that’s so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye.

  4. 4 ramblingperfectionist

    Ok, I wrote TWO comments, and neither of them got posted. I’ll bother again only if this one works.

  5. 5 ramblingperfectionist

    Oh, good. Well then,
    ๐Ÿ˜€ This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week!!!
    And, of course, I love the way you wrote it.

  6. 6 Ymeig

    LOL! That was a fun night!

    And you better know I’m offended (I do not photograph every waking moment OR rave!!) mister…I’m letting you off the hook only cuz you think I’m ‘pretty’! ๐Ÿ™‚

    And when did you get all observant? See you Sunday! Hugs.


  7. 7 ArtyP

    All very nice…now get your ass out of that room asap! Yesterday was nothing! ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. @Baphomet Believe me, you’re not *that* jolly. ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ramblingperfectionist Um…religion notwithstanding, all of us share similar tastes when it comes to alcohol, art and women. That helps. ๐Ÿ™‚ Seriously, Mr Yankee is a very very nice person…total one-off incident that night. Bah…the way I see it, all you need to be friends is the ability to maintain a decent conversation and we’re good with that.

    @Postman Just checked out your site. Love it.

    @Ymeig You’re here now? I’m a tad embarrassed. Yep, Sunday it is!

    @ArtyP This is awkward. :-\

  9. 9 soorajrox

    ๐Ÿ™‚ ok I gotto say thats the funniest after ‘Tropic Thunder’.
    โ€œWell then he should bloody well invest in real estate, shouldnโ€™t he?โ€

    I did hear similar words in Family Guy(or maybe some other), but it seemed funny

    โ€œYou bastards can say whatever you want but Jesus saves.โ€…this made me remember an incident during school
    (A person angry over somebody else because he swore says,”Don’t use bad words you motherf***ker”)

  10. @sooraj Ha…that was a stunt we pulled off quite a bit in college. I don’t remember it from Family Guy but then again, it’s true – there’s no originality in comedy anymore. Tsk tsk. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. That was funny! ๐Ÿ™‚ Sounds like these happy hours are a regular affair – you should make a series out of it.

  12. Prestidigitator,

    Thank you for the blogpliment. I would blush, but evil, atheistickal postmen never blush.

  13. @bpsk If I did end up making a regular series, I doubt I’d ever be invited to them again. And I’m quite fond of happy hours you know. ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Postman Sure :-\

  14. Not sure how I found myself here, but I’m glad I did.

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